What is Pegging? Complete Beginners Guide to Pegging Sex

Last Updated on August 4, 2023

What is Pegging? You're probably here today because of your curiosity about the meaning of this strange and kinky yet intimate and passionate popular sex act for couples that is taking place behind closed bedroom doors across America. What does pegging mean? How do you do it?

Today I'll cover everything you've wanted to know about what is pegging in sex with definitions and meanings of the associated terms and accessories required. You'll find step by step instructions on how to prepare for pegging, ideas for first timers, what it feels like and pointers to maximize his sexual pleasure and prostate stimulation during anal sex.

Pegging encompasses a wealth of emotion and a deep sense of sharing. It borders along gay sex practices, but it is clearly not. Women pegging men is the hottest trend for heterosexual couples, pegging is not gay. Married couples are trying it to shake up typical old fashioned gender roles in the bedroom and improve sexual pleasure in a new, trendy way.

More than Just Anal Sex

Pegging sex brings a whole new meaning to the relationship. With that being said, you'll understand why the pegging meaning and definition reaches far beyond a simple description, it is a dramatic activity for men and women who want to deepen their relationship and explore the further reaches of human sexuality. As you can determine, the definition has psychological and emotional implications, it's not solely a physical thing.

It is fun, yet pushes erotic boundaries. Anal pegging him feels good for both men and women for different reasons. Today we'll explore everything you've ever wanted to know about what does pegging mean along with benefits, how common it really is and other common FAQ's beginners ask with anal training tips for first timers.

The official term was coined by famous sex educator Dan Savage's column “Savage Love” nearly two decades ago. Before then, anal play for men was still considered something strictly for gays and strap ons found in sex shops were marketed to either lesbians or men with ED so they can make love to their wife.

But then gradually, pegging started to enter the mainstream. Even major lifestyle & cultural publications such as NOW Magazine held interviews with straight men about pegging. Dan Savage answered hundreds of questions in his weekly column from men and women interested in trying it. The term was referenced in an episode of TV show Weeds in 2006.

The sudden rise in popularity however should be attributed to and again in 2015 on an episode of Broad City, an American television sitcom. In this episode Abbi is asked by her crush Jeremy to peg him. She freaks out at first and calls her friend Ilana for advice, then ultimately puts on the strap-on dildo and penetrates Jeremy. 

Now we've learned that certain implements are required to do it. Visit your favorite online sex shop (I certainly hope you pick The Adult Toy Shop for all your pegging accessories and lubes). But really, we DO have a better categorized section of butt stuff needed for anal play for everyone.

Here are a few things to help you prepare before you can try anal pegging sex for the first time:

1. Pegging Strap On – This is different than a regular strap on because the dildo is tiny so it does not hurt him. The harness attachments are often curved for prostate stimulation during sex.
2. Pegging Toys – If you happen to choose a harness alone, you can customize your own kit and pick out one of our small beginner butt plugs and anal toys or dildos that are harness compatible to fit in the harness O ring. This adds more versatility so you can pick the size, shape and color of the one you like best.
3. Anal Lube – Yes its true that you can use any personal lubricant, but anal lube is best because it is thicker and more viscous. It is less runny and easier to apply inside his anus.

What's the Difference Between Pegging and Anal?

We've learned by now that anal sex and pegging sex penetrate the same entry point on the body. The difference between the two is concerning the method of said penetration. Anal sex involves insertion into the rectum by the partners penis.

The definition of anal can be extended and loosened a little to include use of butt plugs or anal toys too, but technically, if it is anal sex, penetration is done by the partner's penis, not a sex toy.

The real pegging definition, on the other hand, means butt insertion by a strap on dildo or a prostate toy attached to the strap on harness. The strap on is always worn by a woman who anally penetrates a man.

Two gay men cannot peg. This is just called strap on sex. The true pegging meaning is strictly a heterosexual sex act, it is not gay. So if you ask “is pegging gay”, the answer will always be “no”.

Charlie Glickman is a sexuality educator, writer, blogger, workshop teacher, and university professor. He is certified as a sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors & Therapists. The following is a quote from Mr Glickman about myth of pegging:

"The idea that penetration is an act of dominance is almost certainly tied in to sexism and the notion that the woman's role is inferior. Plenty of men have absorbed these ideas at a subconscious level.

Even if a man doesn't think it is an act of dominance when he penetrates his (male or female) partner, he may still hesitate to switch roles because he is afraid that it will mean losing his masculinity if he takes a turn catching instead of pitching." ~ Charlie Glickman

How Common is Pegging?

Pegging is common. In my decade working as a sex educator and coach for married couples, I've seen a massive surge in its popularity, especially within the last couple of years. Why now?

Most men are well aware that the anus is the site of highly concentrated nerve endings and prostate stimulation alone can produce an orgasm. Bringing his lover into the mix to share in this immense sexual pleasure & prostate stimulation is simply a new way for him to expand sexual pleasure, eventually improving the sex life for both partners.

I'll let you in on a little secret: Guys have been buying dildos for men for decades and using them alone. Dudes know fully well how good back door stimulation feels, and they are using them mostly during masturbation. They are just not as shy about it anymore.

“We are at an interesting point in history where gender roles are blurred. Now that prostate and anal stimulation is becoming an accepted practice by heterosexual men, anal sex dynamics are shifting. It is no longer about dominance and gender roles, but purely about receiving sexual pleasure during lovemaking.” ~ Mayla Green

Is Pegging Safe?

Just like anal play with butt plugs, beads or penetrative anal sex with your partner's penis, pegging is safe as long as you don't overdo it. Never progress past the point when you feel pain.

The anus is a delicate sphincter and rectal tissue is also gentle, so tearing is possible but you'll have plenty of indication ahead of time through physical sensations.

Use lots of anal lube because dry anal sex can cause tearing. Using a dildo or butt plug in the backdoor is no different. As long as his rectum is well lubricated and he feels comfortable with the current depth and speed of penetration, yes pegging is safe!

Is Pegging Normal?

Yes, pegging is normal. Let's get scientific for a second and think about our gender roles when it comes to anal sex dynamics:

“Some participants spoke of the receptive partner as possessing effeminate characteristics, linking the preference for anal receptivity to the hegemonic feminine personality traits assigned to heterosexual women by traditional gender roles (i.e., the vaginally receptive partner). Yet when these participants outlined the power distribution associated with sexual roles during anal sex, it did not always mirror those assumed by heterosexual gender roles.”

To summarize this study in layman's terms, men don't associate penetration with power as they did in the past. It's a good evolution that opens the door to a whole world of newly acceptable sex practices that are both fun and interesting. Pegging is normal for couples who want to spice up the sex life in a new way.

What Does Pegging Feel Like?

There are sensitive nerves endings within the anus & rectum. The prostate gland is the holy grail of male sexual pleasure. Gentle & slow anal penetration stimulates these nerve endings and creates immense sexual pleasure, awakening the orgasmic potential of the area known as the “male G Spot”, or P Spot.

Prostate stimulation is the source of gigantic, jaw-dropping orgasms, and the theory is that anal pegging touches the prostate. Not all back door accessories for him offer prostate stimulation, and the proper sexual position makes all the difference to whether he'll have a P Spot orgasm or not. The best pegging toys are great for his P Spot.

The gentle sliding in & out of a thin, small toy in the anus matches perfectly with the rhythm of masturbation and sex. It's like an enhancement from behind. It's no secret that rectal stimulation enhances male orgasms, and this addition to sex is certainly worthy of its trendy status in bedroom right now.

Do Women Like Pegging Sex?

For women, the pleasure is psychological, emotional and even spiritual. It brings a whole new dimension of sexual exploration that she probably never even knew existed. Women like pegging him because it feels good in the mind, and is a deeply intimate act to share with her lover.

An article in Vogue magazine interviewed women about pegging, and here is one of my favorite quotes from an anonymous contributor named “Claire” that explains it from her side:

“The person has to be very trusting of you. You have to listen to their physical cues and gauge if they’re having pleasure or if you’re hurting them. You have a lot of control, and that became very sexy to me. Before Jim, I’d always thought of myself as submissive, but through that experience I accessed a totally different side of myself.” ~ Anonymous responder, Claire

Why Do Men Like Pegging Sex?

Charlie Glickman commented on the rise in popularity of men who like pegging:

"More younger men are curious about it than in previous years, perhaps because of less homophobia and perhaps because there's more discussion of male sexual pleasure, rather than performance. But other younger men often have more resistance because they haven't yet shed their ideas around masculinity."

In general, men are probably "more willing to explore (prostate) pleasure at 50 than they might have been at 25. Older men generally have more experience with ‘don't believe everything you think' so although they're more likely to have hurdles to overcome, they have more practice with it."

Can my Husband Orgasm From Pegging Only?

Yes, absolutely! Prostate stimulation for a man is as just pleasurable as G Spot stimulation for a woman. It is possible for him to orgasm from pegging only when his prostate gland is stimulated. Be sure you have a curved dildo or butt probe so you can reach the P Spot during sex.

Also manually masturbating him by giving a hand job while you're standing behind him is a great way for him to experience powerful sexual pleasure and super strong ejaculations.

How to Prepare for Pegging

If he has a virgin butthole, you'll need to follow a few important steps to prepare for pegging him for the first time to make sure he has a comfortable and enjoyable experience. Think of it as anal training.

1. Lubricate the anal sphincter and 1 inch inside the rectum.
   Use your finger or a lube launcher. It's important to apply anal lube inside the anus because the tight opening can easily “squeegee” away lube externally as you insert the toy. Use more lube than to think you'll need, and make sure to get a thick water based gel which is less runny than a traditional water based lube.
2. Stand behind him wearing the strap on dildo, and get him to bend over.
   Bending forward slightly will make it easier to locate the anus. Ask him to hold open his butt cheeks while you hold the dildo and line up your target. Poke his butthole gently to spread lube over the tip of the dildo (get a head start by lubricating the dildo too).
3. Step closer to him so your bodies touch, and move your hips in a thrusting motion similar to the motions of penetrative sex.
   By snuggling right up to his body, you'll be able to read the physical cues of how he's feeling. If he moves with you, he's enjoying the rhythm. If he pulls away you're either too deep or going too fast. Ask him how he feels. Communication is key
4. Reach around and stroke his penis. Masturbate him until ejaculation.
   The combination of prostate stimulation and manual masturbation is a sure fire way to assure he'll love pegging sex. Use both hands to touch his penis and give him a hand job while sexually pegging him. The faster your hands go, the faster your hips thrust. Keep a steady rhythm going.

When you're done, make sure to clean and sanitize your sex toys with antibacterial sex toy cleaner. Hand wash the strap on harness, and don't forget to clean the thong straps that go between the legs, if applicable.

Make sure to leave these items out to dry before storing. Never swap sex toys between people and holes. Leave vagina toys for the vagina, and butt toys for the butt.

Sex Toys & Lube

Here are a few of my hand picked favorite sex toys, lubes and accessories for beginners sexual pegging:

Beginning New Adventures in your Sex Life

Hopefully today I've inspired you to try something kinky and new. You know what is pegging, you know it's not gay; it's something for a husband and wife to share, you know the vast positive implications for your sex life, and you know which sex toys to buy to get started.

It's a wildly popular trend for good reason! The sexual definition and meaning is all about kinky fun and sexual exploration. The perfect way to rejuvenate a dull love life and change what you know about the joys of lovemaking in the modern world.