How to Choose the Right Strap-On Harness

Last Updated on November 8, 2023

Adult toys can greatly improve your sex life, no matter if you’re in a relationship, situationship or single. Whether you prefer oral, vaginal or anal sex, a sex toy can bring your experience to a completely new level, which is why it is something that anyone should try at least once in their life. 

However, those of good quality can come with a hefty price tag, which is why you wanna do your research before purchasing one - especially considering that if you don’t, you might bring more harm than pleasure to yourself, and that’s probably the last thing you want. 

To help you out, we did a bit of digging on our own. In this article, we will be talking about strap on toys and harnesses, so if you’re on the market for one, keep on reading and enjoy the ride. 

What to Consider when Buying a Strap-On Harness

When it comes to the question “Which strap-on harness is the best?”, there’s no definite answer. That’s something only you can decide, as different people enjoy and feel comfortable with different things. A strap on for men can be totally different than one for a woman.

However, there are a few things you should take into consideration so that you can make a fully informed decision on what kind of strap-on harness will be the best choice for you - below, you will find some of them. 

The Budget 

Let’s start with the basics, and something that is crucial no matter what kind of purchase you’re making - the budget. Sure, there are plenty of very expensive options out there - however, don’t be pressured into spending hundreds of dollars on one sex toy. 

Think about how much you can actually spend on it, and stick to your budget - trust us when we say these days, there are so many options available, all with different price tags, that you shouldn’t have an issue finding what you’re looking for within your budget. And let’s be honest - if someone knows how to use it, they will probably do fine no matter the price tag attached to the sex toy, just sayin. 

The Size 

This one is especially important if you’re a size XS or lower, and XL and higher. To make the most out of a strap-on harness, it should fit you tightly, as if it’s too loose, it might affect how much fun you’re getting out of it. Learn how to use a strapon for sizing and fitting guidelines.

Make sure you pay attention to the measurements, as many harnesses can be either too small or too big on you, even if they are adjustable. If you’re within S-L sizes, then you probably won’t have troubles finding one to fit you. 

If you and your partner are planning on using it interchangeably, then make sure to find a strap-on harness that will fit both of you. If you can’t seem to find one, it might be best to purchase two separate ones. 

That’s not the only size you need to decide on when purchasing a harness. The beauty of purchasing a strap-on with a dildo is that you can choose whatever size you want - or even better, you can decide to go for a few different ones and switch depending on your mood that particular day, especially if you’re planning on using it for both vaginal and anal sex. 

The Shape and Color of the Dildo 

For most people, as long as the sex toy does its job, they don’t care what color it is. However, if you’re someone for whom the color choice has a significance, then it is something to take into consideration when making a purchase.

Trust us when we say that there are so many options on the market that you will probably be able to find a product that fits your requirements, no matter how bizarre they might be. You can even buy a strap on with vibrator just to add another variable to your sex life.

Same goes for the shape - there are people who prefer for their dildo to resemble the real thing, while others don’t want it to look realistic. 

Another thing to consider is whether you want it to be straight or to have a curve so that you can stimulate yours or your partner’s G-spot, as you’ll find plenty of both, and whether it should have texture or be smooth. If you or your partner have never used textured sex toys, a smooth one might be the best option, as many people find the ones with texture uncomfortable. 

The Material 

The next thing you need to decide on is what kind of material you want both the dildo and the harness to be made of. First - the dildo. There are plenty of options, but the best ones are probably silicone or glass. The most realistic strap on penis is often made of TPR or TPE. If you’re a sex toy beginner, silicone might be better, as it’s a lot easier to control than a glass dildo. 

As for the harness, the best material choices are nylon and leather - nylon is easy to clean and use, while leather tends to be more comfortable to wear and more user-friendly. 

While there are also latex dildos available, some people might experience latex sensitivity when using them, so ideally, you should make sure that won’t be the case for you before you purchase it - after all, the dildo goes inside of you, so making sure you’re as comfortable as possible should be crucial. 

One thing you want to avoid is purchasing a dido made out of a porous material, as it might trap the bacteria inside, making it less than optimal for use around your private area - if you do purchase one, you will have to use a condom every time you use it, as well as clean it extra carefully. 

The materials you’re better off not buying include thermoplastic rubber (TPR), thermoplastic elastomer (TPE) and polyvinyl chloride (PVC). 

The Style

Finally, you need to decide the style you want the harness to be. There are two main types - underwear-style and strap-on style. The types that fit around the waist and thighs are the highest rated strap ons because they are the easiest to use and adjust to various body sizes and shapes the best. 

The underwear-style strap-on harnesses, as you can imagine, look like a regular pair of underwear, such as boxers, boy shorts or thongs, with a dildo attached to them. 

Strap-on style harnesses, on the other hand, have adjustable straps, and come in thong style, which is usually more comfortable for those with a vulva, and jockstrap style, which has straps around each of the butt cheeks as well as the waist. 

How to Care for Your Strap-On

Caring for your strap-on is as easy as caring for any other adult toy - you just need to make sure that you clean them after every use, and deep clean every once in a while. 

The easiest way to clean your sex toys is by using soap and water, but make sure to avoid any hard soaps, such as dish soap. Leave them out on a paper or regular towel to air dry. This works both for those with an internal vibrator and without it. 

As for deep cleaning, you should boil a pot of water, and submerge your toy for a few minutes allowing the heat to kill the bacteria - you can also add a bit of bleach for an even more precise cleaning. If your dishwasher has a disinfecting setting, you can just pop it in instead. Once you're done, just let them air dry, and they’ll be ready to use again before you know it. 

As for the harness itself, depending on the material, you can easily pop it into your washing machine. If the material doesn’t allow it, (for example leather) then you can use a damp cloth with a soap. Additionally, you can use a leather conditioner to make sure that your harness does not crack or dry out. 

Strap-On Harnesses - Frequently Asked Questions 

Does the harness come with a dildo? 

What depends on the model you purchase, as you can find both harnesses with an already attached dildo and ones that don’t come with one. We offer the option to purchase a strap on harness separately without a dildo if you want to create your own strap on sex toy kit. 

Do harnesses accommodate different-sized dildos? 

There are strap-on harnesses that can be used with several dildo sizes, but there are also those that are only suitable for a few selected ones. 

The easiest way to check whether the harness and the dildo will be compatible is by trying the two together. However, if that’s not possible (for example, when you’re buying online), make sure that you carefully read the measurements - the information about which dildos fit the harness should be included somewhere in the product description. 

Do you need to use lube when using a strap-on? 

It is definitely recommended to use lube during strap-on sex, especially during anal sex. The anus does not lubricate itself, which means that anal play without lube can end up being more painful than pleasurable. 

Tip: When using lube, make sure that you apply it both to the dildo and the hole it will be penetrating to ensure that it will slide in easily. Also, if you decide on a silicone dildo, don’t use a silicon-based lube with it - instead, go for a water-based or oil-based one. 

What is the best strap-on harness? 

As we already mentioned above, that’s not a question we can answer, as it all depends on personal preference. Some couples love the kink factor of a strapless strap on during sex play, others think they're just too weird.

Where can I buy a strap-on harness? 

You can buy a strap-on harness in any shop that has adult toys, both online and in brick-and-mortar stores. 

The Bottom Line 

If your sex life is becoming a little dull, sex toys can be a great way to fix that. There are so many different types available these days, that no matter if you prefer oral, vaginal or anal sex, you will be able to find one that suits you just fine. 

One of the more popular choices are strap-ons, as they can be used by partners of all genders. However, choosing the right one is never easy, so it’s always good to do a little bit of research beforehand. Thanks to the article above, you should be able to make an informed decision without becoming overwhelmed by the sheer amount of  possibilities. 

At Adult Toy Shop, we strive to provide you with only the best, which is why you have dozens of different strap-ons to choose from. We’ve ensured that we only stock sex toys of the greatest quality, so that’s something you don’t have to worry about when purchasing from us. And thanks to our discreet packaging, only you know what is inside the package. 

So, if you’re on the market for a strap-on, don’t hesitate to take a look at our selection - who knows, maybe you’ll find exactly what you’re looking for? And for all things adult toys, we invite you to browse through our blog section. Till next time!