Sexpert Tips & Advice for Using a Strap on Dildo
Last Updated on December 1, 2025
Strap on dildos are sneaking their way into bedrooms across the country. Couples seeking a new way to spice up the sex life or to overcome sexual dysfunction use a strap on to experience the intimacy of penetrative sex.
In today's guide, we'll explore how to put on a strap on, learn how to properly mount a dildo, and provide instructions for comfortable use to assure that the first time experience with is enjoyable for you and your partner.
Table of Contents
What is a Strap On?
The strap on dildo is a wearable sex toy designed to mimic penetrative sex with your partner. A harness straps around your waist and allows hands-free use of the dildo. It is a versatile device that can be used for either vaginal or anal penetration by people of any sexual orientation or gender.
How Does it Work?
A harness compatible dildo mounts to the front of the strapon via plug adapter or by sliding through an O-ring. The harness fits around the wearer's waist, hips and/or thighs and is held in place on the body by adjustable nylon straps or an elastic waistband.
You can choose one of our full sets or create your own set by adding the following 2 items that connect together:
- Strap on Harness – The wearable harness that straps around the pelvis. Our selection includes an assortment of size ranges and different features to assure everyone can find a good fit no matter their body shape or size.
- Harness Compatible Dildo – Any dildo with a flat base will work with a strap on. Options in this category feature an assortment of sizes, shapes & colors from realistic to non-phallic appealing to any sexual preference.
How to Put on a Strap On
This is assuming you have purchased the standard Universal style adjustable harness that includes an O ring that attaches to the front with metal snaps. If you do not have snaps on the fabric, then you would simply omit the steps that refer to how to attach a dildo.
- Remove the O ring from the harness.
- Slide the dildo through the harnesses O ring.
- Attach the ring to the harness with the metal snaps.
- Step into the harness as if you were putting on pants or underwear.
- Adjust the hip straps so the harness fits at your hip bone.
- Adjust the thigh straps one at a time until the device fits snugly over your pubic bone.
- Lubricate the dildo well.
- Hold the dildo with your hand to penetrate your partner.
- Once the dildo is inserted, you can enjoy hands-free strap on sex.
Putting on a strap on will differ depending on your sex. Men have penis and balls that can easily get in the way, so often they will need to be tucked off to the side. Here's a few ways men can wear a strap on:
- If the strap on has a T back or thong style, men can tuck the penis and balls to the side of the strap.
- Guys can insert their flaccid penis into the hollow core of a male strap on. If he can get a full erection, he won't be able to wear this type of strap on.
- If the strap on has a crotchless base or two straps between the legs, guys position their penis and balls in the opening.
Products demonstrated: Ballsy Super Slim Penis & Universal Harness
How to Mount a Dildo to the Harness
The standard size for a dildo harness O-ring is 1 3/4 inch inside diameter. If a dildo is too thin, it will slip out of the ring. If it is too large, there may be difficulty getting it to slide all the way down.
How does a person acquire more rings for a strap-on to mount larger dildos? Visit the local hardware store and purchase a rubber or metal & O-ring from the plumbing department or hardware section. A person can collect a good assortment of sizes to give a big dildo the most solid fit.
Two O-Ring options exist: Rubber & metal. Rubber can bend helping the ring to slide over variances in girth such as a mushroom head or expand to accommodate a slightly flared base. Metal is the best long term option.
Metal rings are solid, whereas rubber rings may break over time. They both have pros & cons, but it is so easy to purchase other rings at a hardware store that the ring material should never be a deterrent when choosing a harness.
Two ways to attach a dildo to an O-ring:
- The Fashionable way:
- The Practical way:
- Adjustable Strap on Harness – Straps around the hips and thighs to assure to good fit no matter your body shape or size
- Harness Compatible Dildo – Any dildo with a flat base will be compatible.
- Remove the O ring from the harness.
- Slide the dildo through the harnesses O ring.
- Attach the ring to the harness with the metal snaps.
- Step into the harness as if you were putting on pants or underwear.
- Adjust the hip straps so the harness fits at your hip bone.
- Adjust the thigh straps one at a time until the device fits snugly over your pubic bone.
- Lubricate the dildo well.
- Hold the dildo with your hand to penetrate your partner.
- Once the dildo is inserted, you can enjoy hands-free strap on sex.
- The Fashionable way:
- The Practical way:
- If the strap on has a T back or thong style, men can tuck the penis and balls to the side of the strap.
- Guys can insert their flaccid penis into the hollow core of a male strap on. If he can get a full erection, he won't be able to wear this type of strap on.
- If the strap on has a crotchless base or two straps between the legs, guys position their penis and balls in the opening.
As demonstrated in the photo below, push the suction cup through the ring. Correct ring sizing is a must - too big, and it will slide out - too small, and the suction cup may deform when trying to push the edges through the ring.
A word of caution, long term use can eventually cause the suction cup to detach from the dildo. The chance of the suction cup detaching increase if handled vigorously but another trip to the hardware store for some super glue or a silicone compatible bonding agent to make a quick repair job.
The second way to attach a dildo is by wrapping the straps over the top of his testicles. Slide a ring down the entire shaft starting from the tip. Offering a much better sturdy fit, a dildo sticks straight out without gravity taking its pull downwards or the motion of the ocean causing its suction cup to break off.
This is indestructible sex at its finest. Furthermore, this fit requires minimal interaction when trying to change positions. A dildo stays in place solidly, no need using a hand to maneuver penetration & the dildo will not go anywhere. Just thrust forward and hit any target easily!
Left: The Fashionable way
Right: The Practical way
How to Use a Strap On
Here are some quick instructions for assuring your first time experience is both comfortable and enjoyable:
Be sure to lubricate the dildo and your partners vagina (or anus if used for anal play) first. We recommend water-based lube as it won't stain your harness fabric and is easier to wash away. Furthermore, water-based lube won't react with silicone dildos better preserving the longevity of the material.
You will likely need to lend a helping hand for initial penetration, but after that, you can go fully hands-free. Hold the dildo shaft with one hand while you insert it, and be sure to go slow at first.
When using a strap on, communication with your partner is essential. You won't be able to feel the motion, so make sure you're not going to fast or hard and causing discomfort.
Be sure to change up your sexual positions – missionary, standing positions and doggy style are some of the easiest and most enjoyable positions for strap on play.
Choosing a Dildo to Use with a Strap On
What fun is strap on play without a good dildo that works? The best attachment naturally made for harness sex is a a dildo with a flat or suction cup base. Having the most secure fit, a dildo with a large circular suction cup base keeps the shaft pointing straight forward – dildos without a round base tend to flop slightly downwards, or even fall out of the O-ring entirely.
Check out my advice on how to choose a strap on, but for a brief summary, here's some tips for you to consider:
Want it super realistic? As much as we love realistic feeling ultra soft dildos like Cyberskin and Dual Density Dildos, they are simply too delicate and floppy for a good strap on experience. Dual density is an extremely malleable material, too soft to stay pointing forwards when attached to a harness. Furthermore, they can easily slip out of the ring when action gets too hot & heavy.
Left: We love glass sex toys, but they’re too heavy
Right: We love Cyberskin dildos – but they’re too soft.
Firm jelly dildos will work nicely, just make sure the shaft is stiff enough for body penetration when fitted to a strapon. Soft jelly dildos won't work for the same reasons as Cyberskin, they are too floppy and malleable.
We've seen many glass dildos marketed as excellent harness attachments, after all they usually have a flat round base, so it sounds perfect! In reality, glass is not a wise choice for a harness attachment. I tried a glass dildo and it is just too heavy.
Always pulling downwards and continuously tugging on the waist straps, we could see stretch marks forming on the harness backing from the stress of the weight. Even though we had a metal ring, the base seemed to shimmy itself out of the holding. A firmer dildo is going to work best. Think rubber ideally, or firm gel works too.
When choosing a dildo size, be sure the width, girth and overall dimensions are not too big or long to take into the body. Keep your size choices at the forefront of your mind when seeking the perfect choice for you & your lover.
Natural 7 Inch Strap on Dildo - $55
Adjustable strap on has a soft realistic dildo with awesome texture.
Rider Plus Size Strap-On - $43
Fits up to XXL. Includes a sleek curved dildo for G-spot stimulation.
How to Use a Strap On Dildo & How to Put it On
Last Updated on February 14, 2025
Realistic & vibrating strap on dildos are sneaking their way into bedrooms across the country. A new go-to sex toy for couples, we will expose insider tips & extensive guidelines helping visitors discover a new niche in the sex life by this overtly kinky device.
Table of Contents
You'll learn how to use a strap on, (I have some new ideas you might have never seen before), learn more details about what is a strap on, and discover numerous answers to the commonly asked question: how do strap ons work. Consider this the best Strap On guide ever written.
What is a Strap On?
The strap on is a wearable dildo used for partnered sexual pleasure. The dildo or probe shaped device is held in place by a harness which attaches to the hips & thighs of the person wearing it. Strap ons are used for penetrative sexual intercourse, either vaginal or anal and used by both heterosexual and lesbian couples.
This wearable sex toy includes the following 2 items that connect together:
The dildo attaches to the front of the strap on harness and one partner wears the strap on harness on their body. It fits around the waist, thighs or both. The dildo on the front of the harness can be used for vaginal sex or anal sex by people of any sexual orientation or gender preference.
The body harness straps around your hips and legs allowing you to penetrate your partner with the strap-on dildo attachment, which has a flat base at connects to the front of the harness. They are intended to re-create the sensation and experience of sexual intercourse, either vaginal penetrative sex or anal play.
Natural 7 Inch Strap on Dildo - $55
Adjustable strap on includes a soft realistic dildo with awesome texture.
Vibrating Strap on Dildo - $83
The most powerful vibrating strap on dildo we've ever seen. Our Sexpert pick!
Why do Couples use a Strap On?
Simply for playful spirit! Trying new & naughty things is a secret to an amazing sex life. I'll be the first to admit, and I hate having to use a cliche like that, but in a loving marriage, sex will become routine and ordinary. Expanding the sexual comfort zone includes trying things like sex toys and dildos.
Experiencing something new is a fun secret personal experience to share forever. Men with erectile dysfunction can use a hollow strap on because they are unable to get an erection and have intercourse with their partner, so this method allows the couple to enjoy the motions and intimacy of lovemaking despite ED issues.
Using a strap-on dildo for the first time is silly, expect a night of giggles & goofiness because that is what will happen. Strap on sex is rarely serious – not like the depiction in adult films, a loving couple will laugh together as they explore this strange new way to play. My single greatest reason to encourage couples to try harness play is simply because of its fun nature. ~ Mayla Green
How to Put on a Strap On
These are basic steps on how to use a strap on, but if you'd like more detailed instruction, scroll below for more tips and advice to customize your erotic pleasure with your partner. This is the step by step guide on how to put on a strap on.
This is assuming you have purchased the standard Universal style harness that includes an O ring that attaches to the front with metal snaps. If you do not have snaps on the fabric, then you would simply omit the steps that refer to how to attach a dildo. The basic steps remain the same however, so in a nutshell, this is the tutorial on how to use a strap on:
Several dildos & vibrators are excellent harness attachments. Unfortunately, these products hide within their respective categories, never considered for strap-on use. Here, we’ll highlight what to look for when making your own harness system.
A creative mind can pick a few things and create an original one-of-a-kind sex toy for thrusting into practically any hole on a body. No harness required - the strapless dildo fits directly into the wearers vagina. If this is new to you, be sure to learn more about how to use a strapless strap on for all the juicy details and a tutorial too.
Products demonstrated: Ballsy Super Slim Penis & Universal Harness
How to Know if Your Dildo Will Fit a Harness
The standard size for a dildo harness o-ring is 1 3/4 inch inside diameter. If a dildo is too thin, it will slip out of the ring. If it is too large, there may be difficulty getting it to slide all the way down. A secret to making your own dildo fit a harness is getting the right sized ring for the job. Consider ring sizing like shopping for shoes: It cannot be too big or too small & the right measurement makes it fit.
How does a person acquire more rings for a strap-on? To diversify options, visit the local hardware store and purchase a rubber or metal & O-ring from the plumbing department or hardware section. A person can collect a good assortment of sizes to give a dildo the most solid fit.
Two options exist: Rubber & metal. Rubber can bend helping the ring to slide over variances in girth such as a mushroom head or expand to accommodate a slightly flared base. Metal is the best long term option. Metal rings are solid, whereas rubber rings may break over time. They both have pros & cons, but it is so easy to purchase other rings at a hardware store that the ring material should never be a deterrent when choosing a harness.
Suction Cup Dildos for a Harness
What is a strap on without a good dildo? The best attachment naturally made for harness sex is the suction cup dildo. Having the firmest fit, a dildo with a large circular base keeps the shaft pointing straight forward – dildos without this circular extension tend to flop slightly downwards.
How to mount a dildo to your harness:
As demonstrated in the photo below, push the suction cup through the ring. Correct ring sizing is a must - too big, and it will slide out - too small, and the suction cup may deform when trying to push the edges through the ring.
A word of caution, long term use can eventually cause the suction cup to detach from the dildo. The chance of the suction cup detaching increase if handled vigorously but another trip to the hardware store for some super glue or a silicone compatible bonding agent to make a quick repair job.
The second way to attach a dildo is by wrapping the straps over the top of his testicles. Slide a ring down the entire shaft starting from the tip. Offering a much better sturdy fit, a dildo sticks straight out without gravity taking its pull downwards or the motion of the ocean causing its suction cup to break off.
This is indestructible sex at its finest. Furthermore, this fit requires minimal interaction when trying to change positions. A dildo stays in place solidly, no need using a hand to maneuver penetration & the dildo will not go anywhere. Just thrust forward and hit any target easily!
Left: The Fashionable way
Right: The Practical way
How Does a Strap On Work with Flat Base Dildos?
A dildo does not require a suction cup to be a superb harness attachment. Any sex toy with a flat base will do. Improvise with ring diameter (remember that trip to the hardware store?) and get kinky with it!
Any suction cup realistic dildo or vibrator is my personal favorite alternative attachment that works with a strap on harness to make your own strap on dildo that feels real to replicate penetrative sex.
They almost seem to be made with harnesses in mind & longer testicles give the shaft leverage to stay upright while its flared tip prevents it from spilling over and falling out. Type in "Super Cock" in the search bar and the first 8 products are perfect sex toys for this purpose. That is not all though; many other flat bottomed sex toys can work, please view the photograph below for a couple of demonstrations.
Left: Super Cock, the finest dildo for strap on use.
Right: Anything with a flat base will do, be creative!
Using a Strap on for Anal Play
Butt plugs are wonderful, attachments. Almost every butt plug has a flat base as a safety feature preventing it from pushing all the way into the anus, and the flat base is a characteristic essential of the best selling pegging toys & kits of all time.
We can take advantage of this feature and make your own little hands-off butt toy. A harness compatible butt plug will hold firm, lacking leverage from a longer shaft it is going to stay in place, better than any dildo. Overly kinky minds are surely buzzing with anticipation now A little butt poke with a partner's thrust from behind is cool - leaving hands free to nipple tweak, clitty poke and penis stroke. THAT is astounding sex-play!
Many prostate massagers have a flat base too, all in the name of safety again, but any harness lover will interpret this as the perfect g-spot accessory ever made. A g-spot attachment for a harness is a popular option, but most g-spot vibrators are a straight shaft and impractical for harness wear.
Left: A butt plug is the perfect shape.
Right: Prostate massagers = G-spot massagers
How to Choose Dildo for my Harness
Check out my advice on how to choose a strap on, but for a brief summary, here's some tips for you to consider:
Want it super realistic? As much as we love realistic feeling ultra soft dildos like Cyberskin and Dual Density Dildos, they are simply too delicate and floppy for a good strap on experience. Dual density is an extremely malleable material, too soft to stay pointing forwards when attached to a harness. Cyberskin suction cups can deform if used inside a harness O ring. Furthermore, they can easily slip out of the ring when action gets too hot & heavy.
Firm jelly dildos will work nicely, just make sure the shaft is stiff enough for body penetration when fitted to a strapon. Soft jelly dildos won't work for the same reasons as Cyberskin, they are too floppy and malleable.
We've seen many glass dildos marketed as excellent harness attachments, after all they usually have a flat round base, so it sounds perfect! In reality, glass is not a wise choice for a harness attachment. I tried the glass dildo seen in the photograph below and it is just too heavy.
Always pulling downwards and continuously tugging on the waist straps, we could see stretch marks forming on the harness backing from the stress of the weight. Even though we had a metal ring, the base seemed to shimmy itself out of the holding. A firmer dildo is going to work best. Think rubber ideally, or firm gel works too.
SX Realistic Strap On - $66
Popular choice for beginners is both budget friendly and high quality. Features a life sized dildo & harness straps.
Rider Plus Size Strap-On - $43
Harness fits up to XXL. Includes a sleek G spot dildo for sexual stimulation. A luxurious way to spice up the sex life.
How to Wear a Strap On
Wearing a strap on for men and women will differ, after all, men have penis and balls that can easily get in the way! These tips are for men, since ladies can simply wear it without anatomical features getting in the way!
When shopping for dildo size, be sure the size, width, girth and dimensions are not too big to take into the body. Keep your size choices at the forefront of your mind when seeking the perfect choice for you & your lover.
Left: We love glass sex toys, but they’re too heavy
Right: We love Cyberskin dildos – but they’re too soft.
Vibrators that Work with a Strap On
Even though TheAdultToyShop is stocked with 80 strap-ons, only a mere 18 vibrate. The reality is that most harnesses come with a non-vibrating attachment. You can be creative and make your own vibrating set, here's how:
Strap on sex is a like a dark addiction, or pure chocolate (some say they are one-of-the-same). After a single taste – you want more. Luckily an adult can rarely exhaust options for vibrating sex toys that can be incorporated for this purpose. A vibrator with a flared base can also work, although not necessarily as attractive as a flat dildo with a wide base. This position allows the user to enjoy vibration in the kinkiest sense of play.
A tapered tip normally ends in a rounded base, the intended purpose of such designs is to offer the user a convenient handle to grab while self pleasuring. Slide a ring over the top and nestle it as far as it will go. An advantage is the user will feel some vibration so shimmy the harness lower. This positioning can be targeted towards the pubic bone and tossing a bit of vibration into the love zone. Here are two examples of flared vibrators that work with this arrangement:
Advantages of Strap ons with a Removeable Dildo
You may notice some strap on dildos include a couple extra rubber or metal O rings. These add excellent versatility to your sex toy partner play because you'll be able to interchange and swap out other dildos with a flat base.
Harnesses are expensive to buy, so it makes sense to pick one with a removable attachments so you don't need to buy a strap on again, just the dildo or vibrator attachment. Some butt plug works really well too, in fact, most pegging toys are actually butt plugs or anal dildos since, well, they insert into the butt!
When you want to know how to put on a strap on properly, it's easiest to attach the dildo to the O ring first, then put the strap on by stepping into it just like the instructions and tutorial above. Before using the strap on, make sure to add lube to the tip of the probe and the top half of the shaft too.
What Does a Strap On Look Like?
A strap on will have a waist band of some sort along with thigh straps. Some are thong styled, others can look like boxer briefs or even panties. The front of the strap on has a hole where a dildo is held. Check out the video demo here showing what it looks like.
If you think about how a strap on is used, it is made to replicate penetrative sex between partners. It makes sense then that it will fit to any body type or shape and wrap around the hips and waist in order to be able to stay in place during penetrative sex.
Some strap ons are used for pegging sex which is anal penetration by a female to a male. In this case, the pegging dildo probe will be small or curved for prostate stimulation. The only difference in the way the strap on looks is that the harness may have more feminine appeal since a woman wears it, and the attachment on the front will be a lot smaller than a typical strap on penis for heterosexual intercourse.
How Much are Strap Ons?
Pricing varies according to complexity of the device and quality of the materials. Pre made kits cost between $40 - $120, but there are more economical ways to go. If you wonder how much are strap ons because you have to stay on a strict low price or cheap budget, make sure to check out our sex harness section and purchase a separate attachment. By combining these 2 separate pieces, you can go as cheap or as expensive as you like.
Beginners asking how to use a strap on will find the more budget oriented sex toys a good choice because they have fewer adjustment points and are more simple to put on. How does a strap on work? The less features, the easier it is! Of course on the other hand, more adjustability means it will better fit more body sizes and shapes, so there is a lot to consider when shopping online.
The real answer to the question how much are strap ons depends on what features are important to you and what features you can forgo. For example, vibrators are more expensive than non-vibrating attachments. Slim butt plugs or prostate toys will also be cheaper than a full size realistic dildo. Pegging sex toys are cheaper too, simply because the attachments are thinner than average and less material equals lower cost.
How much are strap ons? Your imagination is the limits and you can spend as little or as much as you want making your own super kinky sex toy for couples, or a tame teaser for trying something new in the bedroom.
