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What is a Fleshlight and How do You Use One?

What is a Fleshlight And How do You Use One?

Fleshlights! You’ve probably heard about these sneaky masturbation sleeves, but have you ever seen one up close? Would you know how to use it if you did?

Don’t worry if the idea of a Fleshlight male masturbator is a bit foreign to you. We’re here to help. Keep reading to learn what one is, how to use it, and what mistakes you should avoid.

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Fleshlights

So, let’s dive right in. Here’s all the down-low you ever wanted on Fleshlights align with other suggestions, details on available accessories, cleaning steps, instructions and tips & techniques.

What is a Fleshlight?

A Fleshlight is an adult toy for guys that resembles a self contained pocket pussy. It was invented as a discrete sex toy that resembles a flashlight.

You can also find them in the shape of ‘tall boy’ style beer cans. Many people purchase Fleshlights through online sex shops or from the manufacturer directly.

Others have even tried to fashion their own out of materials they find at home. We don’t recommend that, as those items are usually not safe or sanitary.

Here’s something to keep in mind. This is actually a copyrighted term. So, if you’re interested in one of these products, be prepared to search for pocket pussies, masturbators, masturbation sleeves, roto-bators and more.

They are basically the same as any other realistic masturbator for guys, but you can cram them into the discreet looking flashlight container to keep the sleeve out of sight and safely stashed away. The other advantage of keeping it contained is that it wont degrade by accidentally coming into contact with lube or other silicone toys, and won't attract dust or lint during storage.

Mouth Fleshlight
The classic and original mouth shaped stroker with ribbed tunnel.

How do Fleshlights Work?

The mechanics of this are pretty simple. The fleshlight is essentially a vagina (or anus) contained within a cylinder. It's right along the liens of a pocket pussy. (FYI - pocket pussy definition here).

To use it, you simply insert your penis with a bit of lube, and commence thrusting. Depending on the model, you either finish inside the unit, or the end is open.

How Much is a Fleshlight?

That really depends. A basic sleeve with a plastic cover could be less than 20 dollars. A hands free, mountable unit with vibration could easily be 100 or more. The price is comparabel to a high end luxury ultra real pocket pussy.

Which Fleshlight Should You Choose?

This depends on your budget and your preferences. There are exceptionally inexpensive units that are a simple masturbator sleeve for men that maintains a tight grip on your member providing a slightly more intense masturbation experience.

At the other end of the spectrum are masturbators that allow you to pick the specific type and experience you want. Do you prefer something that replicates oral sex or anal sex? What about a remote control toy that pulsates around you until you orgasm.

Butt Fleshlight
Butt shaped stroker with bumpy textured tunnel.

Best Fleshlight For Stamina Training

These devices aren’t just fun, they are functional as well. Men who struggle with premature release, can use these to help them develop stamina and longevity in bed.

One of the best options here is to choose a vibrating Fleshlight. This way the vibration can be turned on to bring him as close to coming as possible, then turned off to train him to keep going when he’s tempted to blow his load.

Best Fleshlight For Partners

Masturbation doesn’t have to be a solo thing. Many couples find that they can renew their passion for one another by sharing their experiences with toys, and masturbating together.

A masturbation sleeve is also a really sexy gift. We think couples should shop together for these, but the BJ helper is always a great choice.

He can use it alone, or both of you can add it to your oral sex routine. It’s perfect for anyone who doesn’t quite have the  ability to deep throat.

Vagina Fleshlight
Porn star replica with textured tunnel .

Discrete Fleshlight for Travel

Fleshlights are great for travel, but nobody wants the TSA pawing a large masturbator with tons of accessories. Instead, keep it simple and discrete. Something like the Honcho maturbator can be buried in your checked luggage, and forgotten until you arrive at your hotel.

How to Clean Your Fleshlight

This can be a very simple or somewhat complex task. This depends on the type of pocket pussy you’ve purchased, and how or where you finish.

With an open ended Fleshlight, you simply ejaculate into a tissue or somewhere else. In that case, use antibacterial soap and hot water. You can also use a cleaner made for sex toys.

If the closed ended sleeve is designed so that you finish inside, you’ll have to use a bit more effort to get it clean. Fortunately, these units usually come apart for thorough cleaning and disinfecting. If the unit doesn’t come apart, you should simply pass it up. You’ll never get it clean and acceptably sanitary.

Once you’ve cleaned your toy, leave it out to dry. You don’t want to cause stains or bad smells by putting a damp toy in a box or drawer.

Upgrading Your Fleshlight Game

If you own a fleshlight or pocket pussy, it’s time to up your game a bit. One option is to purchase a warmer.

This is a simple device that you insert into the sleeve for a while before you masturbate. It warms the toy up so that it feels more like a real vagina.

Next comes the shower mount. Wouldn’t hands free jerking off be amazing? Now imagine adding the sexiness of a shower.

A shower mount is simply a holder that attaches to the inside of your shower wall. It keeps the sleeve in place so you can thrust at will. 

The Basics - Using a Fleshlight

Porn Star Fleshlight
Porn star replica with realistic feeling tunnel.


First, you’ll need to get your masturbation sleeve ready. That starts by selecting the one you want. Now, add plenty of lube. Depending on how your toy works, you may need to insert it into the outer sleeve or fleshlight case. 

Fleshlight Action

Once you're ready to start, there’s no right or wrong way to do this. It’s all about your preferences. Feel free to ease into it. Keep in mind that the fit may feel more snug than you’re accustomed to, but it should never hurt. If it does, pull out, and use something else.

Finally, don’t be afraid to experiment. Try more lube or less. Invest in a unit that vibrates or thrusts. There are even hands-free masturbators to try.

Mayla Green

Mayla Green has been involved in the sex toy industry since 2004. Working behind the motto “Sex TOYS should be FUN”, Mayla provides unique tips & advice amassed from over a decade of hands on experience with adult products. She also coaches clients how to fully enjoy sexual pleasure and can be seen in major publications & magazines online.

Happily married since 2009, she knows firsthand how the sex life eventually becomes repetitive (which truthfully means boring), so if you're looking to spice things up in the bedroom, Mayla's your gal! Her literary pride & joy is covering topics for established couples needing inspiration to keep lovemaking exciting and fun.

Not in a relationship? Her other focus is teaching women how to properly handle the “little person in the canoe” to experience the best orgasms ever, no partner required! Her creative and innovative tips, techniques and advice is on par with a certified sex therapist or Sexologist, but with an extra advantage from her knowledge of the adult toy business.

View all articles published by Mayla Green exclusively for The Adult Toy Shop sex blog. Mayla Green's Linkedin profile highlights her professional background, experience and training.

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